joi, 12 octombrie 2017

Cezar's 40 minutes of writing about imagination

Cezar’s 40 minutes of writing

IMAGINE             – a song by John Lennon
-          A global song
-          An entire album from Armin van Buuren – Laugh all you want – I really enjoyed it!

What I actually want to write about is, of course, me.
What I imagine.
I imagine being a reporter for once, or twice, or maybe more, but not everyday. I imagine talking with interesting people like hookers, policemen, thieves, rich men, hippies, VIP’s, normal people, people with disabilities, Richard – the main character of the last book I read, Ciolos, Iliescu, I would want them to tell me the truth. I imagine everybody reading the articles not for the interviewee, but because I interview them. No penalties, just knowledge that’s shared.
I imagine being a sports star – I’d be modest and smart like Cristi Chivu. I remember when all the kids in school shouted my name at the basketball game that we won against my very own professional team-mates from another school. I remember that even though we won, they were the ones who qualified – I think it was because what we now know as corruption.
I imagine writing about people’s jobs like I did at Dora’s. I imagine a great blog, kinda what Ruxi wanted to do with her vocation website.
I imagine being the best at something. That’s so far away from me that I don’t even spend a lot of time developing the idea. I imagine the compromises that need to be done to be the best at something, I tell myself that it’s not worth it and move on.
I imagine I am happy, I imagine I am rich. Sometimes I feel that I’m happy, sometimes I feel that I’m rich. I always think of me as a financially poor person, rarely as an emotionally poor one. People tell me I’m brave and courageous and I reply that I’ve got braver and more courageous friends.
It just came to me that I actually am the best at something: being me. No one could do it better. If I was a believer I’d thank God for choosing me to do me, to be me, to play me.
We’re unique even on facebook: we’re the only one who are friends with our same friends. No two people have the same exact friends. And I’ve got the best. No, I don’t.
I imagine I am free, even though I’ve never been free. Because when I’m free of jobs I am busy with thoughts and when I’m free of thoughts I am too concentrated to notice. But compared to slavery I am, indeed, very free. Thanks “God” again.
I imagine talking more with people, listening to them, focusing on them, not cooking or facebooking at the same time.
I imagine quitting facebook and movies and becoming a really awesome entrepreneur – the kindest of them all – full of very healthy principles.
I remember Clau telling me how he imagines me ten years after high school: supercool, rich and in the company of a very beautiful girl. I did not believe him because I didn’t trust myself, but I do wish I could have presented him Ruxi, as a great achievement of what he said.
I imagine doing an EVS – I don’t imagine not doing it.
I imagine a great atmosphere in my company. There are not many people, but they’re running around, knowing what to do and they’re happy, as am I. As am I.
I imagine myself driving the F1 Car, barely holding my head. I, at some point, gave up on the idea of building my own F1 car or Ariel Atom.
I gave up on building the electric car – the big companies already did it and I don’t want to be a peon on their table.
I do want to own one – a car, not the company.
I don’t want to sell. I don’t want to convince people of anything – I got tired.
I want to be important but I don’t want responsibilities.
Fuck you (hug you) “with great power comes great responsibility”, you’re too right. Relax a little, try to understand that I do want you as a…
I imagine that I’m also the only one who knows everything that I know, listened the music I listened, danced when I danced.
I imagine wish someone’s reading my work and feels the same way I feel when I’m reading a good book.

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